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We all go through stressful stretches—work, relationships, running a business (hi), training while dealing with injuries, or simply existing in this wild world. It can be a lot.
I have certainly had my own high-stress periods. Cue website redesign nightmares, staffing issues and the thousand small things that apparently require attention immediately.
Somewhere along the way, stress management became unnecessarily complicated. We are told to perfect our sleep, meditate every morning, follow an elaborate wellness routine and carefully regulate every uncomfortable sensation. Eventually, managing stress starts sounding like another full-time job.
No thanks.
Stress is part of life. The goal is not to avoid every difficult experience or protect ourselves from every uncomfortable moment. It is to become more resilient and better at finding our way back when life knocks us sideways.
Here are seven simple stress-busting strategies I return to when things get chaotic.
1. Learn to Say No—and Actually Mean It
1. Learn to Say No—and Actually Mean It
Constantly agreeing to things you do not have the time, energy or desire to do is a fast route to resentment and exhaustion.
Every time you say yes to something that does not fit your values or bandwidth, you are saying no to your own peace of mind. Give yourself a moment before agreeing to another task, appointment or favour.
If your immediate reaction is, “Ugh, I guess,” there is a very good chance the answer should be no.
Not every refusal requires a lengthy explanation or carefully prepared defence. Sometimes “I can’t do that” is enough.
2. Focus on the Good Stuff—even When It Is Hard
2. Focus on the Good Stuff—even When It Is Hard
Focusing on something good does not mean pretending a difficult situation is wonderful. Some experiences are genuinely painful, unfair or exhausting.
But the difficult part does not need to consume the entire picture.
There may still be something good to hold onto—a lesson, a laugh, someone who showed up for you or simply the knowledge that you handled something better than you once would have.
Resilience is not denying the hard things. It is refusing to let them become the only things you can see.
As Wayne Dyer said: “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”
3. Laugh—Like, for Real
Not the polite workplace chuckle. I mean full-blown, ugly laughing.
Find the videos, memes, stand-up routines or inside jokes that reliably crack you up. Spend time with people who make you laugh. Watch something completely ridiculous without requiring it to be educational, productive or good for your personal growth.
Laughter will not make the problem disappear, but it can stop stress from occupying every inch of your brain for a while.
Bonus points if you laugh hard enough to wheeze.
4. Let It Out—Yes, Even to Your Dog
4. Let It Out—Yes, Even to Your Dog
Keeping everything bottled up rarely makes it disappear. Usually, it just means you are carrying it around while pretending you are not.
5. Don’t Avoid Conflict Forever
Avoiding an uncomfortable conversation may feel easier in the moment, but unresolved problems have a habit of hanging around and creating even more stress.
If something needs to be addressed, address it. Be compassionate, but be clear. Say what the problem is, listen to the other person and deal with what is actually happening instead of replaying imaginary arguments in your head for three weeks.
You do not need to enjoy conflict. Most reasonable people do not. You simply need to become capable of facing it when necessary.
6. Get Outside—Seriously, Go Touch Grass
6. Get Outside—Seriously, Go Touch Grass
There is something restorative about getting away from screens, walls and the constant stream of information competing for your attention.
Walk the dog. Sit on a bench. Take your coffee outside. Walk around the block without turning it into a fitness challenge.
You do not need to hike through a forest or become one with nature. Even a short change of scenery can help clear your head and make a stressful day feel less claustrophobic.
Skip feeding the squirrels, though. Toronto squirrels are already much too bold.
7. Move Your Body—even a Little
Exercise does not need to mean an intense workout, and it certainly does not need to be impressive.
Walk. Stretch. Lift weights. Dance in your kitchen. Do some yoga. Ride your bike. Choose something you can tolerate and get your body moving.
Movement may not solve the thing that is stressing you, but it can stop you from sitting in the same position, thinking the same thoughts and becoming increasingly wound up.
And no, you do not have to love every minute of it. Sometimes you do it because you know you will feel better afterward.
Bonus: Just Breathe—even If You Hate Meditation
Bonus: Just Breathe—even If You Hate Meditation
Not everyone enjoys meditation. Sitting silently while being told not to think can be remarkably irritating when your brain has 37 tabs open.
But everyone breathes.
Try box breathing: inhale for four counts, hold for four, exhale for four and hold for four. Repeat it a few times without straining. Concentrating on the rhythm can steady your breathing and give your attention something simple to follow when everything else feels noisy.
If holding your breath is uncomfortable, skip the holds and breathe slowly instead. There is no prize for performing relaxation correctly.
One More Bonus: Ditch the Alcohol
One More Bonus: Ditch the Alcohol
Alcohol can feel like the quickest way to switch off, but it often borrows relief from tomorrow—and charges interest.
It can disrupt sleep, increase fluid loss and leave you feeling tired, irritable, anxious or generally like you woke up hating life. When the buzz wears off, some people feel more restless than they did before drinking.
That is not stress management. It is stress postponement.
If alcohol has become your automatic response to a stressful day, try leaving it out for a while and notice the difference. Rehydrate with water and eat properly. If you have lost substantial fluid through sweating, vomiting or not eating, an electrolyte drink may help replace what you have lost—but it is not a magical hangover cure.
Do not neglect vitamin D either, particularly during the darker Canadian months. Vitamin D is essential for health, and correcting a deficiency may support overall well-being. It is not an instant happiness pill, and taking more is not automatically better. Health Canada recommends obtaining vitamin D from food or a supplement daily and advises adults aged 51 and older to take a daily supplement containing 400 IU.
Sometimes resilience begins with not repeatedly doing the thing that makes tomorrow harder.
Stress is real. Life is chaotic. Difficult things will happen, and the goal is not to protect ourselves from every uncomfortable moment.
The goal is to become better at coming back from them.
Say no when you need to. Look for what is still good. Laugh loudly. Talk it out. Face what needs to be faced. Go outside. Move your body. Breathe. Stop repeatedly doing the things that make you feel worse.
It really can be that simple.
When Stress Shows Up as Physical Tension
Massage therapy cannot remove the circumstances causing your stress. It can, however, provide time to slow down and address some of the physical tension people commonly carry through the neck, shoulders and back.
Some people prefer the smooth, rhythmic techniques used during relaxation massage therapy. Others find hot stone massage therapy particularly comforting. The sustained warmth of the stones can feel like a hug for your nervous system—especially when your body has been tense, guarded or running at full volume.
Both treatments are provided by Registered Massage Therapists and adapted to your preferred pressure, comfort level and areas of tension.
Excelsior Integrative is located near Yonge and Eglinton in Midtown Toronto. Massage therapy provided by an RMT is eligible for reimbursement under most extended-health plans.
A Quick Note
These suggestions are intended for ordinary periods of stress. If stress or anxiety becomes persistent, overwhelming or begins interfering with your sleep, work, relationships or ability to function, speak with a physician or qualified mental-health professional.
If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, call 9-1-1. In Canada, anyone thinking about suicide or needing crisis support can call or text 9-8-8 at any time.